I'll say more about the image I posted at the bottom.

I hope you've been having an okay summer (or winter if you are down under)!

Why don't I wish you a great or even good summer?

Lowering expectations can be one of the most loving things we do  for our kids... 

and also the most helpful if we want them to do their best. 

What message do our kids get when we always tell them to have a great or even good day?

The reality is, sometimes, the best that we can do is get through a day.

Also wanting things to be good all the time can lead to great anxiety about what is wrong with us if we feel anything less than that.

Before having kids, my default was to wish people a great day. That seemed upbeat and positive. But my reality was that even then, some days were hard. Ironically, expecting my days to be great set me up to feel worse, and to have a harder time living up to my potential.

That's why years ago, I started to mix it up and sometimes say to the parents I work with, "Have an okay or good enough day" or "the day you were meant to have".

You may want to try that with your kids too.

Why can this work so well?

• It takes the pressure off. Most kids are struggling with the pressure. I guarantee that you could use less pressure too.

• The focus is less on how your child feels in every moment, and more on them navigating life.

• It's amazing how much more effective we are at solving problems when we don't fight the fact that they exist.

Do you even think you'd have great days without the rough ones?

So many big gifts come from our struggles. Reframing for your child that rough or otherwise not great days are good in their own right could be very helpful!

I hope you flow with your day! Sometimes, that can look like accepting that we aren't having the day we wanted. Recently, I crashed on my bike, as part of preparing for a cycling trip this fall. A walk around the block this morning was a real achievement, and not at all what I thought I'd be doing a week ago! The trip is still happening, so I'm considering using an e-bike, despite being quite old school and definitely preferring a pedal bike.

Yet I'm experiencing ease most of the time, as I have powerful tools and a community to help keep me immersed in them.

My experience is that when I can go with the flow, rough days can be great days, ironically. I'm so grateful for crashing on a gravel hill near my house, not on the pavement in the mountains at much higher speed. I learned a lot from an error that I am very unlikely to make again!

If you need tools and community support to help you to flow through the rapids, reach out. I have room for a client as do other coaches. 

It's amazing how much better life can get when we learn to work with what is, rather than try to be positive, even when things are not going the way we planned.

We've got you.

Sooo much love,

Jacqueline

PS. The photo at the top is from a precious moment in May with my sister-in-law, my son and his girlfriend. Sam went back to work in April and finished the school year at the same high school that his girlfriend works at.

If you are inspired to share a photo, or something from your life, please do! This is a community, and we have big plans going forward for how to be of more service.