The New Year is such a great time to make changes. However, it’s also easy to be jaded and to think that our resolutions won't stick.

A small shift in your focus can help you harness the positive energy of the season without the pressure.

To help you build momentum, I want to share a simple exercise. It takes as little as 5 minutes. Doing this exercise regularly can transform your life.

The Exercise: 5 Things That Went Well

List at least 5 things that went well last year.

Make sure to give yourself credit by including things you did that made the year (or the day) better.

Most of us are burdened with an inner critic that focuses on what we could have done better. That can be depressing and demoralizing. If we want to build positive momentum for 2026, we need to start seeing what we did right.

Want to get the family involved? Your kids or partner may be happy to participate! If they are reluctant, tell them you’d love for them to humor you and spend just 5 minutes sharing things they are grateful for.
Note: The most important thing is for YOU to do the exercise for your own sake.

Why this works (and isn't just "positive thinking")

1. Neuroscience shows that what we focus on expands. So when we take the time to appreciate what's going right in our lives, it grows.

The Neuroscientific Background

The reason our focus makes things grow is because of neuroplasticity, which is the brain's ability to form new neural pathways based on experience.

The fundamental mechanism at play is experience-dependent neuroplasticity.

Put simply, the brain is constantly shaping itself based on what we see, feel, experience, sense, and do. The things you repeatedly do and focus on physically alter the structure of your brain.

Neural pathways are the key to change!

The New Year is such a great time to make changes. However, it’s also easy to be jaded and to think that our resolutions won't stick. Repeated thoughts, emotions, or actions strengthen the connections between neurons, creating strong, well-worn neural pathways. Conversely, connections that are not used regularly become weaker. So if you want to make positive changes, take time to notice what's already going well!

2. Tiny steps are huge wins. Think about a baby and how crucial their first steps are. You wouldn't downplay those, would you? Tiny steps in the right direction count just as much as big ones.

Baby steps in the right direction are often more sustainable than bigger steps and lead to long-term change.

3. Maintaining course can be a victory. Maybe you didn't fix the uneven division of labor in your household or stop yelling. But if your family is still together, that is a big win. Parenting is an ultra-marathon, not a sprint. Give yourself credit for getting through challenging times.

4. This is not about being a "Pollyanna." Pretending that things are better than they are is not helpful. This is about finding the good in what’s real. So, don’t gloss over the real challenges you’ve faced. If you are honest about what’s going on for you, and look for your wins within what’s real, you’ll be more able to move towards what you want next year.

Paradoxically, the more I acknowledge and process my “negative” emotions, the easier it is for me to be positive. One of my top 5 wins is finding ways to process my intense emotions around having an adult son who was suddenly unable to work due to his health. By acknowledging my fear for the future, I’ve been able to be much more supportive of him and

Another time, I’ll share more about the most powerful way I know to turn down the heat.

How to magnify the effect

Share a few of your wins with us!

Many of us are external processors—we do our best thinking while talking or writing. When you take the time to share your highlights, it helps you get on a roll.

I look forward to reading your list of wins from the year! Hit reply and share your top 5.

I’ll share 5 things from my list in the comments to get the party started. 😊

​​​​​​​A special thanks to Jo Whitton, one of our core coaching team, for your editorial input on this post. I love working in collaboration with other sheroes...

I can feel the pull to write more in the new year to explain why I think that women heroes need our own word. The short explanation is that the skills and traits that moms need to master are quite different than the traits of masculine heroes.